For better or for worse
Marriage. The thought of it brings delight to some, and dread to others. Weddings, finances, uncertainty of the future, fear of commitment and ticking biological clocks are just some of the things that make the thought of marriage so emotional to people. Some jump in without giving a second thought to what it really takes to make a marriage work while others seem to be doing it just to get the chance to plan and show off their extravagant weddings. Then there are those who can’t even fathom the idea of committing themselves to one person for the rest of their lives.
The reality of it is that it’s impossible to see into what the future holds and every marriage is different. Each will have their own ups and downs, great times and terrible times, some will be lucky in love and some not so lucky, but the point of it all is that if you love the person, you’ll make it work.
In today’s modern world, marriage is constantly under attack with temptations lurking around every corner as well as a host of other obstacles just waiting to make couples lose their footing. In spite of the sometimes tempestuous nature of marriage, these pairs share some stories and some insight on what they’ve learned from marriage and prove that finding success in a marriage is not as hard as you think.
Boy & Ruby
Married for 35 Years
Boy
We met on a blind date. A double date, actually. Thing is, we weren’t paired with each other. Some call it luck while others would call it fate. But I’d like to say it was divine intervention that I was seated beside her and we talked the whole night.
It’s been 38 years since that date and we still haven’t stopped talking. Needless to say, it’s been one helluva moment. A priceless one.
In those years, she has given me 6 wonderful kids and a place I can always call home.
Through time, we have shared and continue to share lots of things.
We share both ups and downs. Both laughter and tears.
We share chips and ChocoNut.
We share text message exchanges like two teenage kids.
We share each other’s frustrations.
We share each other’s dreams.
And then there’s the music we share.
1978. Disco and Top 40 music were in full swing.
So you’d expect a teenage convent-bred kolehiyala to stick to these tunes. But she went beyond those. She introduced me to Bebu Silvetti. Cool. . . a fusion afficinado! This girl knows her stuff.
She’s also a fan of Jobim.
And though not really tall, she’s tan and young and definitely lovely.
Huwag na pakawalan!
And I did just that.
Check out this link to read more of Boy’s blog posts for his one and only love, Ruby.
Ruby
Been married for 35 years, and now, both excited to start enjoying the “senior”perks. I met Boy when I was 19, it was a group date, and he was my blind date. I think we liked each other from the very start. We were “on” for almost 5 years before we got married. We started a family right away, we have 6 kids a daughter in law, 5 dogs and 1 cat. We recently moved to the south, our 3rd and hopefully final move, and are super enjoying the cooler weather and more serene atmosphere here. We’re at this point in our life wherein we’re happy and contented to just relax, sit back, and be with our kids as often as we can; we’re hoping we be blessed with grand kids soon.
We both weathered some storms in our lives, had financial and health issues, went through losing our love ones, and all these made us both even more grateful, thankful and blessed for having each other. Looking forward to growing old together, and hopefully getting along even better.
Ryan & Patricia
Married for 4 years. Now with 2 children and a dog
Ryan
I learned that my spouse is very sensitive and I am the opposite- always joking, barely any serious moment, and tactless. I know that I have to be more careful with what I say or do.
Kidding aside, being married and having a family are such blessings. We try to balance life with kids, family, work and obviously my hobbies (which may be a lot to some people).
Our goal as a couple is to raise good children and teach them to be God fearing.
Patricia
In the four years that we’ve been married I learned that our relationship is constantly changing and growing, may it be from adjusting to living together, to welcoming more members in the family.
I think it is important to check in with your spouse and be aware of the different languages they use to communicate. I know that something is bothering Ryan when he stops making jokes or asar. As for me, I tend to keep things in then go to the extreme of being very vocal (probably not a very healthy way of communicating).
Ryan and I are very different but we find that laughing at the silliest jokes and even making fun of each other are our best link. We try to find time during the day or week to have family time, and really with 2 kids below 3 years old that means hanging out in the living room watching some reality show (90 Day Fiancé or Naked and Afraid or The Voice). It can be the simplest things that make it work. Finding time for romance (wink) is a challenge too...sometimes we have to get creative in finding our “alone time”. And sometimes I can be just too tired to even think of it.
Our relationship is far from perfect and the challenges can be overwhelming.
We put God in the center and ask for guidance always.
Danny & Alma
Married for 37 Years
Danny
What I learned from my married life is being able to appreciate the sacrifices done by my wife for the family and also to understand and adjust to each other’s imperfections. As the popular adage goes, nobody is perfect. Lastly, the fact that we both put God in our relationship makes our marriage endure the test of time.
Alma
We have learned how to be strong in times of trials and tribulations.
Pao & Anamae
Married for 7 Months and 13 days